Stop Seeking Career Advice From Friends and Family

…unless they are professional career coaches or come from your field.

Why, despite their best intentions, listening to friends and family can be widely off the mark for your career, and how seeking work-related advice from the right people can help you to (finally!) stop hating Monday.

While enjoying the path of my career and going through my personal life at the same time, I have come across a number of situations that have caused me to reflect on the enormous importance that career paths and specific jobs have on a person’s life. That is why I decided to focus my next series of articles on choosing the right career, no matter what stage of life you are in.

“The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.” — Steve Jobs

Let me start by dropping a truth bomb:

Work represents 1/3 of our waking hours, and anyone who feels bad about that third of their life and does nothing to change it is just burying their head in the sand and normalizing hating what we do in this society, for 40+ hours, each week. And being hateful and unhappy is simply not who we are meant to be.

Our daily job and our careers are crucial parts of life, just like family, friends, partner relationships, health, finances, and hobbies. What is more important, they affect all other aspects of life in the same way that our health affects all other aspects of life at moments when it isn’t great or the way that conflict with a close person can do the same chaos — everywhere.

Imagine being sick for three years in a row, or constantly fighting with your significant other for months and doing nothing about it. Doesn’t appear to be right, does it?

However, even if the work aspect of your life feels unchangeable, it is not. I promise you can get SO MUCH out of it! I see it ALL THE TIME — it’s literally been my job to witness those amazing changes in people’s lives when they are finally aligned on the right path, in the right environment, with the right people — and those are the positive ripples you need in life.

“If you find yourself in a hole; stop digging. ” — Sharon Cooke Vargas

1. Just because the wrong job pays well or you have been there for many years, does not mean you should stay

We are often so focused on the reward ($) and the stability (years and comfort zone) that we fail to notice the risk — a toxic environment, a career with no growth potential, a company with values that do not align with ours, and a job that does not fulfill our passions.

I’m not saying you should jump ship right away, but it’s always a good idea to challenge yourself to take a good look at the career you’re stuck in and the career you’ve always wanted to live.

If they are in sync, that’s FANTASTIC!

If they are not? Then it is time for something else…

…It’s time to make a plan, which will include some soul searching and professional advice, all of which will lead to a good exit strategy from your current career and a gradual transition into the one of your dreams.

“Be true to what naturally interests you — and be brave enough to turn an obsession into a profession. ” — Shelly Branch

2. You should not seek career advice from friends and family, and if you get it anyway - you should kindly ignore it.

Most of us get our first career advice from one source: our parents. And it is true, as we go through life, the people who are most interested in our careers are those closest to us, such as our significant others, friends, and other family members. However, the mistake here is to rely on them and they on you for professional advice.

Have you ever heard these phrases before?

• After a year, you’ll be bored with that subject
• Working long hours always results in burnout
• That type of work is hard, you choose an easier one
• That is a career for single people
• You should choose a job that is more feminine/masculine
• In an interview, ask for a higher salary and, no matter what, negotiate every offer
• Always request a promotion after a few months
• It doesn’t matter if your resume is 7 pages long — if you have a lot of experience, you should show it
• A job that requires traveling is not a good job — you should work from an office, preferably a large one
• Good mothers don’t go back to work after having children

The truth is that, no matter how much these people care about us, their advice is often irrelevant because of a few reasons: they are not working in our field at the time, they usually project their experiences, and they are usually biased toward easier, “safer,” and higher-paying career paths. They are not taking, and will never take, into account what makes your soul dance because the only person who can do that is you, and if you can’t figure it out yourself — then only a professional can.

The only thing worse than taking advice from these well-meaning people is asking it yourself, and then accepting it. If you do this, please stop. Now. Please stop getting stuck in improvised career advice from people who have nothing to do with what you do. Instead, connect with people in your field of work and/or kindly ask a senior professional in your field to be your mentor.

“It is never too late to be what you might have been. ” — George Eliot

3. It is never too late to get your dream job and start loving Mondays. That may necessitate taking a few steps back or exerting additional effort in some cases, but it will be well worth it!

I’ve been really fortunate to be in the right career since the day I graduated from university, and I couldn’t be happier about that. But I’ve also seen a lot of unhappy people who are stuck in the wrong career or job, and seeing that always breaks my heart.

Willingness to support these people goes without saying, but no support is worthwhile unless the person in question is consenting, and willing to exert effort. We have all of the resources we need to be truly fulfilled in that third of our lives, but it takes a true understanding of ourselves and our passions, as well as the courage and determination to take the first step and create our life’s master plan — once and for all.

“No one can discover you until you do. Exploit your talents, skills, and strengths and make the world sit up and take notice. ” — Rob Liano

Remember that work can help you feel happy, confident, fulfilled, energized, proud, and excited about your life. And if your job isn’t giving you that sense of expansion, you might want to reconsider your current job or even your entire career. But not with your aunt Marie and your childhood pal. Allow them to enrich only the aspects of your life to which they are assigned — family and friends.

Until next time!