Lessons on Personal Development: #9 Become More Stoic
Get curious about Stoicism, explore it, and gain new perspectives on life. Good philosophy should be both consumed and practiced.
What have the Romans done for us in the past? The roads, of course. But how about them providing us with words of wisdom that are perfectly applicable for the 21st-century? That may sound unlikely, but the work of three Roman Stoic philosophers who offered just that has sparked a surge of attention in the last few years. I am talking about Seneca (Emperor Nero’s tutor), Epictetus (a former slave), and of course Marcus Aurelius (an emperor himself).
“No person has the power to have everything they want, but it is in their power not to want what they don’t have, and to cheerfully put to good use what they do have.” — Seneca
Back in 2014, while reading a book that combined psychology and philosophy, I got naturally intrigued by philosophical perspectives, which made me curious about the many types of philosophical schools. Among all of them, I fell in love with Stoicism. It’s also why, as evident in all of my content, I’ve become hooked to finding the best inspiring quotes worth living by.
Simply said, Stoicism was created to support people in living their best lives and help them hone their best virtues of character. It is about consciously focusing on the essential things in life, as well as emphasizing positive emotions while minimizing the negative ones. I can say with confidence that it can serve as a great reminder for living effectively at any time, in every situation, and in each stage of life.
“When you are offended at any man’s fault, turn to yourself and study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger.” — Epictetus
In the following part of this article, I’ll give you my three favorite key stoic ideas to hopefully pique your interest, as well as some book recommendations that will help you build the stoic mindset and call on it whenever in need.
1. Own Your Mind
We have little influence over most of what happens in life. This indisputable reality was acknowledged by the Stoics, who instead concentrated on what they could accomplish. Epictetus was born a slave, therefore he had no reason to assume he could control anything. He was also permanently crippled from a broken leg given to him by his master. He would have lived and died in poverty even if he was liberated.
But that wasn’t Epictetus’s thought process. Even though his freedom and even his body were taken away from him, he realized he had control over his thoughts, desires, and anxieties. That was something that he owned.
It’s very easy to become frustrated these days. We’ve become so used to comfort that even the tiniest discomfort makes us angry. When the internet speed is a bit slower than it should be or traffic is blocked up for a minute, the next natural reaction is only frustration and rage. We aren’t upset because of any of these incidents. The source of our discontent is the emotional reaction we have chosen. It is our responsibility to ensure that external events do not influence our interior state of mind.
2. Don’t Outsource Your Happiness
Much of what we do is motivated by our basic need to be liked and accepted by others. In the past, our social group’s disapproval carried terrible consequences. It would almost certainly have resulted in banishment and death in the wilderness. To some extent, this is still true today. But how much time and effort do we devote to gaining others’ approval? How much is that costing our uniqueness and mental freedom?
We spend money we don’t have on unnecessary luxuries in order to impress someone we actually don’t care about. Rather than focusing on what is best for us, we choose a career or lifestyle based on how others view us. We are kept captive and must pay a king’s ransom every day, with no certainty that we will be ever freed.
Cato, a Roman statesman, aspired to live a life free of the opinion of others. He would dress in the most bizarre clothes and go about the streets without wearing shoes. It was his method of training himself to be ashamed only of things that deserved shame, not of things that other people thought were shameful. We can learn a lot from him. It is far healthier for us to live our lives on our own terms, without regard for the opinions of others. Happiness is something that should never be outsourced.
3. Toss Away Ego And Pride
There was a time in the past when I felt I was exceptional in a skill in which I had just basic knowledge. Now, after years of practice, I am sure that I have become an advanced performer in that area, but yet far away from exceptional. You may call it irony, but I call it evolution. A Stoic one.
Today, thinking that you know everything is more dangerous than ever before. Information is not only insufficient for solving tomorrow’s problems, but it may also be an obstacle to sharper thinking. “The universe is changing, life is an opinion,” Marcus Aurelius said even in ancient times.
This is why today’s most bright thinkers devote so much of their time to reading. They recognize that there is always wisdom to be obtained whether from the past, present, or future. It would be wise for us to follow this example, so stay a student. Always.
“Look back over the past, with its changing empires that rose and fell, and you can foresee the future, too.” — Marcus Aurelius
Book recommendations:
- “The Discourses of Epictetus” — Epictetus
- “Meditations” — Marcus Aurelius
- “Letters on Ethics: to Lucilius” — Seneca
- “Letters from a Stoic” — Seneca
- “A Guide to the Good Life” — William B. Irvine
- “A New Stoicism” — Laurence Becker
Until next time!
